I found that everyone wanna be happy.. but why some of them keep hurting others..

hmm I am so fed up with his deeds.. He isn't like a human being.. It's his body only , but not his thought, behavior, and mind.. Why should I live with such a nasty one.. I am dying.. DYING!!!!! I am paying my Karma.. hahahah!!!! no problem.. see.. I am more mature than I used to be.. Sometimes I need sharing my sadness to someone that I think is good enough and dependable, but I am afraid of annoying and bothering others time.. I am afraid if they tell my story to others.. I am afraid if they underestimate my life, ugh!! Am I thinking too much?? haaa I dunno.. T__T I wanna cry!!! bbuttttttt NO!!!! I MUST NOT BE SO WEAK.. I am not a loser such that nasty guy!! See!! I bet that you will live with nothing and be alone in the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like killing someone!!!!! I can't control myself =_____=




HELPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tifus

Hi Honey Bunny Sweety..

aku divonis kena tifus.. ckckc.. menyeramkan.. yang kupikirkan bukan apa, tapi makanan nya itu looo.. masa makan lengao, ibi cui, oat aja.. T__T semalam sih aku ampe2 trus mau muntah waktu makan.. untung hari ini uda ga.. tapi ga selera aja.. huu.. bayangkan ajaa.. dari jumat sore aku uda sakit.. tapi aku tergolong kuat loo :pp soalnya aku ga lemas kali en masi bisa kesana kemari, online, nonton, dengar lagu en smalem aja aku masih bersikeras sekolah walaupun mama uda larang.. ahaha bandelnyaa anak iniiii.. kayaknya ku bakal kurus beneran hahaha..
waktu ari jumat aku uda ke dokter.. tapi blum sembuh ampe ari senin, dokter bilang mau cek darah..T___T takut DBD, jadi aku lari ke dokter tankimciu yg jalan Gandhi sana.. kata orang kalo DBD dia pande.. aku takut bgt.. soalnyaa mau cek darah.. yada uda itu, hasil tesnya blg gpp.. en kasi obat.. uda makan obatnya teratur masi aja blum sembuh.. aku takut bgt waktu itu, kupikir aku udah kena penyakit apa ini.. ke 2 dokter tapi masih aja gini.. what's going on is the only thing that keep repeating in my mind.. hahaa I thought if something happened to me, how could I face it? I still had not finished my learning in this life.. I had not learned enough Dhamma.. How if I couldn't have a faith with Dhamma again.. I was keep on thinking about those.. yaa ampe semalam mama bawa aku ke sinse jalan tikus.. dari kecil aku uda sering ke sana.. emank sekarang uda sembuh 70 % gara2 obatnya ama cubitan dia yang super tuh.. ajappp.. cubitannya ga main2.. baru cubit ga sampe 5 menit, punggung, kepala, dan perut aku semua merah2 T___T kejamm nyaa aie.. ajaapp ajaapp.. ^^V

Tapiii thx toohhh aieeee.. aku udah mulai sembuh iniii.. cuman badan ku gerah banget ga dapat mandi en cuci rambut.. sama masih pusing2 kayak kurang darah aja.. mungkin sihh karna ga makan nasi dari semalam.. cuman makan yang lembek2.. ahaha..


ouyaaa aku ada secret plan m best friend ku nii.. sssssttt.. jangan kasi tau sapa2.. cuman kita aja yang tau ^^V hiihiih..
nanti aku habis semuh total.. mau makan mie sop.. aku suruh aie nya buat yang super besarrrr.. uda tuuuu seperti biasanyaa.. add super chili!!!!! hahhahahah!!!! nyaammmm.. udahh ga sabarrr makan miesop aie tuuuu.. pokoknya pedasss pedasss pedasss!!! ahaahhha XD


ya uda de honeyy..
mama uda panggil.. mau mamam ibi cui lagii.. lagipula perut jg truusss kriuk2..


Be Happy!! ^______^


Jessica

sigh

sick since Friday.. I've never been like this before. ahaha usually I'll be recovered in about 1 day night.. This time really killed my spirit and I missed my little plan.. Last Saturday I actually wanna go to Brastagi and spent my weekend, unfortunately I was sick..

Today I was being so crazy and not be able to control my emotion.. I was so mad.. damn it.. You know who I am talking about.. * is the fucking shit.. Sorry for being rude in my words.. YES! I really damned insane now.. Lemme tell ya, * neva changes his attitude.. like a monster and ******.. I am really fed up!! You'll see that I and my beloved one are going to leave you behind.. There is no way.. You act like nothing is happening.. even you can complain for your own fault! Forgot to tell ya, that I was quarreling with * last Sunday.. I didn't begin the war, but * did! I would not scold him if * didn't say such a disgusting word! and today I did it again, for * was still doing the same terrible thing!

( I've postponed my meditation since few weeks ago, for a little problem)
now, I really need meditation..



* ( is the one who I am talking about)

Stop Arguing Find The Way

Hi sweetie..

I'm happy to have a great spirit^____^.. Wish I could hold this spirit to carry my days on hohohoo..

errr.. How are your days getting along? I'm very great^^V.. I have no perfect path, but I'm stepping to understand that I should accept everything as the way it is.. I dunno why few people say that I seem to be happy most of the time like no burden at all ahaha.. I am what I am.. though I can be stressed out, but I'll make it simple as fast as I can.. then, I'm back to be normal haha.. Some people like to regard 'em as the most pity person in this planet.. They will describe their life is miserable, not happy at all and suffering.. They'll argue just to be the most unhappy person and feel to be an experienced person in the life.. haha According to me, It's such a fool :ppp Well, All people have their own problem, and I do have.. I think It's useful to argue such unnecessary thing, what you need to do is focusing on the problem and try to get out from the matter..


I found an answer that is related to solve troubles.. Wanna know how to face the world by positive way?

When everything messes up your day, you need to let the emotion go.. Let it flow.. Take a deep breathe.. Sit calmly.. try to understand the situation.. stop judging others fault.. examine your own.. then see every side of the matter to choose a middle way.. and NOW pick a solution that isn't just for your own good, but for everyone's including yourself..

You need to be wise in every story.. Don't sacrifice yourself indeed.. There are many ways to help the situation.. Find the most effective way.. Do not be a "orang baik yang bodoh" but be " orang baik yang bijaksana"

^^V

Be Happy Be Mindful,

Jessica

No Title :p

Hey Diary..

How are you? I'm very good and having a great spirit.. I've been practicing what Buddha said.. It's really giving me a progress.. hmm you must be curious what I'm experiencing on.. haha I'll tell ya later.. mm..

Tonight I'm going to have BBQ with my cousins, unfortunately tomorrow I'll have ceremony at school.. sigh.. what a coincidence..

How I should tell ya uh.. I dunno how to begin.. I read a lot of stories about Dhamma.. It help me finding my way to be a good Buddhist.. I'm not only following what Buddha said.. I'm trying to EHI PASSIKO.. Ehi Passiko means we do not only believe, but we explore, examine, experience Dhamma by ourselves.. We do not have to believe in what a Holy one said, before we ourselves prove the teaching.. so we are not gonna be believe in something blindly..

Well, just straight to the point..
What I'm learning now is

• be patient
• be mindful
• learning Dhamma
• doing meditation
• controlling myself

I'm trying my best.. Wish Buddha could keep me in the line..
Saddhu.. Saddhu.. Saddhu.. :)


jiayyyyyoooooooooo.. ^^

Jessica

Learning step

we learn patience when we are being either scolded or insulted.. Let's see how far I can do it :)


This is my new-hard mission!!!

HOoooHoooO..


JIAYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Good News! Yihaaaaaa..

Hi..


I have my answer now! Today I was having Grammar test by the killer teacher, sir susanto ( hahaha he's nice, I like him because I never found a good and suitable English teacher in my school.. but the killer one is the exam) I heard that if you could pass his exam over 6, you must be so thankful.. haha I was so afraid of getting red mark.. If it was happened, I would close my eyes and hide somewhere else.. I know that it's a little bit LEBAY.. but it is the fact.. I would be very shy if my English got a low score.. hahaha after I had done the test, I was a little confused and not sure of my own answer.. The teacher informed that there was only two people pass the B type in the exam.. I am quite surprised.. Then, He said they were Jessica and Jessica A. A.. hahhahahahha.. Jessica and Jessica.. >.<
I got only 70.. I am both pleased and disappointed.. I am excited of getting 70 and disappointed for it's only 70.. ck ck ck..
My sister used to get a higher score when she was being taught by sir susanto.. around 90 something.. ahaaaaaaaa I can't beat her English..
Today at 3.30 I am going to my forum class at Winfield.. It's my conversation class.. I am not good at speaking.. I always forget what I want to talk about.. I think I am too nervous.. Haaaaa last week I didn't talk a lot.. Today I must do it better..
Really I am challenged by sir Susanto.. I want to beat his TEST!! aahahah..




Next, I've got a great inspiration from my friend..

It is.....


"Don't be so worry the way people think about us.. By doing and improving good behavior inside yourself, it'll reflect the good side itself.."

Thanks friend!! I wish you could find and accept yourself too..
Be Good Be Happy Be Mindful :D



Jessica..

Mama :[

I miss mama..

I can meet and talk to her only 2 hours in a day..


one hour in the morning when I prepare for going to school and another one hour in around 10 p.m in the night..



ckckckkckc..