I'm running through time and space..

Looking for the edge of the unstoppable journey..

Often lost and back again..

Will I reach the end?

Hi dear mon cher..

I've been working like crazy.. hahhaa but sometimes I regard it to a fabulous journey, because I've to struggle on my own and learn about spirituality during my hard time.. I used to think that spirituality only works out when I have to release every single thing and live peacefully in suburb.. I was wrong, I can learn spirituality everytime everywhere if I am a being that is still wandering through this circle of lives..

I used to think life must be great if I am living as well as others, having a perfect family.. whoa it would be easy, I wondered..

but NOW.. I don't care so much what do I have to go through my life either happiness or sadness.. It is just equal.. and each one is fine :)

Darimu, ku tahu apa itu ketabahan..
Darimu, ku tahu apa itu kesabaran..
Darimu, ku tahu apa itu pengorbanan..
Darimu, ku mengenal apa itu cinta..
Berjalan bersamamu..
Melihat langkahan tiap barismu, membuatku mengerti akan arti perjuangan..
Ibu....
Semoga kamu akan bahagia selalu..
_/\_

I was so depressed lately.. It sometimes makes me OOC ( out of control ) hmm.. I was crying yesterday.. :(

I don't know who I shall tell my problems.. If I vent it out, will you understand? Actually I don't need anyone to tell me what the solution for all things that burden me, but I just need someone to listen to what I am saying when I am so confused.. I feel lost and really need someone to understand me for a while.. I'll get what's the best solution myself when I am okay again. but I am terrified so much if I am in uncontrolled situation, I've promised to myself that I would control my emotion. I don't want to hurt anyone when I am still ooc..

Yesterday was really a super 13 bad terrible day ever.. If I wanted to, I would just be like a child. I would shout, and blame on others.. but I should always remember my promise.. I'm trying not to break it..

I can't explain what precisely happened to me, I am just too speechless.. Everything came in a row and hit me one by one in a night.. I became crazy and really felt like dying soon..

but it's okay now.. As what I uttered, I will be alright.. I just need time.. I will solve everything myself..




Oh yeah.. Happy Valentine's day..

I am single, but it's no matter.. I don't wanna attach in anything right now.. I wanna find who I am first.. but I do have my valentine....... xixixixixi.. It's my mom.. xD

Hello MOM!!!! I LOVE YOU.. MUACHHHH..
You are my heart..
You are my everything..

I don't wanna lie to anyone, including you my dear diary.. I do like a guy for about one year already.. but he doesn't know.. hahahaha.. let it be.. I don't wanna take any further step.. He'll be scared and run away from me.. If it is so, I will lose one of my valuable friend.. Let me be his secret lover.. It's okay hahah.. oyaahh.. Happy Valentine my dear valuable friend.. :) I wish I could be your friend forever :D

It is just a sad and excited chinese new year

Hey dear.. Forgot to greet ya Happy Chinese New Year!!



2 days before the D day.. My dear cousin was being hospitalized because of stroke.. Our family was damn worried and in sorrow.. Our first day in Granny home, as usual our big family gather together, were not in mood to celebrate New year.. Even we were crying....

Hopefully, My cousin is gettin better.. He is now in Jakarta and will go to Singapore a few days later to check up his body.. He is now doing the therapy.. Only his left arm is not working properly..

We were going to Brastagi.. I picked some crazy games at Mickey Holiday and it succeeded to make me feel dizzy.. Then we were going to Hill park in the afternoon.. I was actually wanna go to the temple.. but they said that it was too late already..

I didn't tell ya!!! The villa we went in was haunted you know! Horrible... Hiyyyyy.. Someone woke me up by hitting my shoulder and my cousin saw ghosts.. Hiyyyy.. >.<

Then we went home and got home when it was almost midnight..


The next day, I went to Sun Plaza, one of my best friend was invited me on her birthday party.. Usually I can hang out till 8 or 9 p.m but yesterday I was damned tired.. I felt dizzy so we went home and I got headache all night.. I slept in about 9 hours.. but my head was not getting better! then I decided to eat Panadol..

and now I am typing all my stories during Chinese New Year to you haha..

aaa.. I guess I have let my sister use this notebook.. She seems not patient anymore xD

See you dear.. Have a nice lovely day ! Muacchhh.. :D