Imperfection is a rainbow

Looking others fortunate and great lives.. Everything seems to be a great ease.. you just need a little effort and your life will be painted as a terrific rainbow.. I am just not in the lucky way..

You know, sometimes when you wanna throw all the perspectives .. You'll find your life is not really fair.. You grow in a broken life.. You wanna something that others have..

It's right to stop comparing your life.. Even when you have a bad life path.. You still need appreciating what you have..

hmm.. When you saw the old beggar, the poverty around Africa, India, or Indonesia indeed.. moreover the starving peoples over Africa.. You should be thankful enough for what you own..

Yes I did envy and dwell in the jealousy.. but it's time woke up and face the truth..


Hey Jessica, you may be born in imperfection.. but still there's opportunity to get up and build a beautiful castle!

Missing it :(

I am so much missing going to Temple.. I used to go to Metta Karuna Temple.. but when my sister is getting busy for her dozen assignments, I stop going and stay home at Sunday.. I am very happy when I am in Temple.. IDK why.. But it gives me such a peace and calm feeling..

I went to ITBC at Cemara Asri several times for the night ceremony few weeks ago.. I did meditation for 1 hour there with Bhante and others.. OOOO I wanna go there again.. When I was there.. It was so quiet.. No noise.. So peace.. I did namaskara, read paritta then meditate.. I love when doing meditation there.. It's so nice.. The light is off.. There are air conditioners.. so the atmosphere is comfortable.. It is so much silent.. How can I say that? because when you move a little space, it will cause a sound.. :D I LOVE SERENE!!

I am missing going to Temple..



but for good information, my cousin wanna go to ITBC every Sunday.. and I'll go with him if he decides it..
aaaaa..
but this Sunday I can't go anywhere.. I am going to a competition, EPC, at Cambridge.. Obviously I wanna quit.. because I haven't prepared everything well..


Never mind, let's make it as an experience..


Over all, Wish me luck and could go to temple again.. :D



Good Night :)

Hey.. Stop it!

Huff.. I was thinking something.. I have to stop this right now.. stop pretending everything.. try to be perfect in everyone's sight.. I am too tired.. I am a good girl honestly.. but I always keep my weakness inside.. Hold it tightly so that no one could see who I really am..

moreover, I hate keep this feeling all along.. I wanna be brave! I want to be strict! I wanna stop to be a fool girl who is afraid of hurting others.. Yes, We should keep the harmony and live peacefully.. but We also need to have a strong principle! There is no way for 'em who can't appreciate a friend!
Take your egoistical self away!!

As what I have been experiencing, nothing could change this.. but I am! I wanna build a strong principle.. so that it'll be over!

: D

Ketika hidup ini tidak sehangat dan seindah yang ku impikan..

Ku coba mengerti bahwa keadaannya memang sedimikian rupa..

Tiadanya semua hantaman keras ini, aku tidak akan pernah mejadi aku yang sekarang ini..

Tidak pernah bisa ku bayangkan akan seperti apa aku ini..

Mungkin semua hama2 buruk2 di pikiran dan kelakuan ku tidak pernah hilang..

untunglah beberapa dari mereka seperti, sulit mengatur emosi, sulit mengakui kesalahan, dan egois sudah ku hapuskan.. dijamin uda 95 % menghilang..

usaha ku sudah dimulai 8 bulan belakangan ini..

Aku masih ingat..

pertama sewaktu hidupku terasa hampa.. dan aku tidak begitu tau apa arti hidup ini..

Aku membaca sebuah note..

Judulnya Life is Yours..

Masih ku ingat waktu itu kira2 Febuary dan aku sedang melepas lelah sejenak setelah pulang dari sekolah.. lalu aku coba mengintip notification di Facebook..


Tiba2 ada sebuah note muncul dan sangat menarik perhatian ku..


Aku coba membaca nya pelan2 walaupun agak panjang.. tapi semakin membacanya rasanya tiba2 aku dihantam sama meteor yang jerit2 gitu.. WOII JESS BANGUN WOIII..


Dari situ.. aku sangat terinspirasi.. Sangat berterima kasih kepada teman ku itu..

Dari itu aku sangat menyukai kata2 inspiratif.. teman2 ku sekarang kebanyakan orang2 yang suka memberi semangat dalam status maupun notes mereka..



Thanks all my lovely friends! : D




Hidupku kini sangat berbeda.. Mungkin tidak ada yang tau..

Tapi sudut pandang ku berubah 360 derajat!

Hopefully, semua berubah ke arah positif..


Tapi meskipun begitu.. aku masih memiliki bebrapa sifat jelek..

Semoga bisa ku ubah ke arah yang positif!





------------------------------------------------------