A Blind Alley

Dear,



Hmmm still awake and got myself sit on this chair then keep typing whatever comes out.. Listening to Gatha Tisarana really is so peace and joyful..

Diary.. Lots stories have kicked my mind with thousand of needles and it engraved on my heart!
Quarreling happened couple days ago.. My main matter is in a blind alley, also waiting for being destructed with a big bulldozer.. nothing would stay except debris and memories..

huff.. I can't help worrying all things that approach lately.. It seems to be a great anxiety..


There is no way back to the past.. It's fragile and gonna be broken after determination is settled..


hahahaahah..


err everything that is related to this problem really breaks my confidence.. While I saw people with a happy life and great relation, It burdens my mind a lot with inferiority.. I sometimes refuse to face everything.. :(

but I've merely built up a better confidence by supporting myself..


It sounds I kinda lack of self confidence.. Yes.. I really do.. but it's better than how it used to be..



OOPSS... It's already 01.21.. It's too late bebe :P


thanks for listening to my little story..



Good Night Sweetie..

Little Prayer :'(

In this moment, I really know what life is.. Days to Days I feel sorrow..


BLAME on me! I scarcely understand why I can be so weak.. I know he hurt me, hurt 'em.. He does everything egoistically.. Now, he's in sorrow, everyone hates him.. but he still hasn't opened his eyes and looked the reality.. and I am pity of his ignorance.. everyday I keep this feeling myself.. I put no brave to tell anyone.. I can't do anything.. I hate this feeling terribly!


I'm anxious lately.. feelin so uncomfortable both at school and home.. I really lost my spirit.. :'(
I'm worrying if that decision is made, I really will be so depressed.. :'(I can't face it..
I'm weak!


Oh Buddha.. I seldom want to pray for asking something.. I know this is all about kamma.. I know you have nothing to do with my fate.. I am not asking you to arrange a new better impossible fate for me.. I just wanna your light shines my dim path.. I really need to see everything clearly.. and please give him light to wake up from his ignorance.. I couldn't bear if he keeps doing the wrong thing.. hufff.. That's all Buddha.. Saddhu.. Saddhu.. Saddhu.. _/\_

Serene and Peace

Hello Sweet Heart..



How are your days getting along?
I am really good..
haha..
Well..
In this post, I'm gonna tell ya a story..
hihihi ^^o


You must know, if I love nature so much.. Having no idea why it can be.. hmm.. I'm enjoying my path when I am on a nature spot.. The feeling is so free, peace.. really unexplained!! I love when looking up the sky.. I love when looking trees with its green view.. It looks so fresh ^O^ I love when it's raining, cold is covering the atmosphere, gray is on the top of the layers, wind is dancing trough the air.. I love it!! and I love somewhere that has no hue and cry, somewhere that has no noise and so peace.. somewhere that is serene..

hey.. I'll continue it later.. I gotta go!! TaTaaaaa.. see yaaa dear!
^0^